Dearest girl,
Remember your pre-pregnancy days when you had the body that allowed you to wear crop tops and low-waist jeans? You would be delirious every time you entered a store because you wanted to buy everything – at the time, you could because everything fit like it was tailor-made for you. Now, shopping trips don’t excite you as much. You know you’ll head straight to the section where you’ll find oversized shirts and mom jeans. You might throw in a deep-neck top to jazz things up a bit, but oh, you’ll make sure that top is peplum style so it doesn’t accentuate your waist.
Your insecurity about your body runs deeper than ever. When you first learned about your pregnancy, you were over the moon. You were excited for the nine months that lay ahead. At the time, you gave little to no thought to how your body would change. It was only around the seventh or eighth month that you started noticing visible changes in your body – your stomach seemed to have popped out overnight, your feet got a size bigger, and your face looked so much chubbier. But your baby was just a few weeks away and you didn’t spare much of a thought to how your body had changed in ways you never imagined.
Then came your beautiful baby girl and you were overjoyed. But soon after, your hormones came crashing and postpartum depression reared its ugly head. One of the major triggers for your anxiety was your shapeless body. Gone was the hour-glass figure. Your tummy was now like a hanging pouch with ugly red stretch marks covering it. Your breasts too had moved two sizes up and were engorged with milk. You avoided looking at yourself in the mirror for the longest time. If at all you shopped for yourself, you bought clothes two sizes plus so as to not reveal your misshapen body underneath. But your now-shapeless body had also given you your darling baby. Your love-hate relationship with your body had just begun.
A few months later when your baby was hitting her half-year mark, you tried to eat right and find the time to work out. But you were tired and overworked and you couldn’t bring yourself to start a healthy routine. So, you physically distanced yourself from your spouse. Intimacy issues stemming from your insecurities about your size and weight were the next hurdle to hit your marriage. In your heart, you knew that your husband loved and accepted the new you. But you couldn’t accept yourself.
When your baby turned one, you stated to feel more like yourself and you decided to give working out a try. This time, you more or less stuck to the routine. You lost a few inches around your waist in the months to come. You were overjoyed and started enjoying shopping trips once again.
Your baby is three now and it is safe to say that your weight has fluctuated in the last few years. You have regained the inches you worked so hard to lose and lost those inches again. I wish I could tell you that you’ll wake up one day and you’ll have lost all your pregnancy and postpartum weight. But I would be lying. You have a lifetime of standing on the weighing scale and sighing at your weight ahead of you. The only way to a happier life is by accepting and flaunting the new you. Your body gave you the miracle of life. Show it acceptance and you’ll be surprised what it does for you in return!
Looking out for you always,
Munira
Munira Rangwala
Motherhood comes naturally to most. It didn’t come naturally to me. But that doesn’t mean I love my baby any less for it. Hi, I’m Munira and I’m from India. I love to travel, read, and dance and I can’t wait to explore the world with my world, my daughter.
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